英文笑話

   A Small Dragon 
   Xiao-long: Ma, why did you name me Xiao-long (a small dragon)?
   Mother: Because when I was pregnant with you, I dreamed of a small
   dragon.
   Xiao-long: Oh! I see. . .But, but, but, if what you dreamed of was not
   a small dragon, but a small pig, then . . .
   　
   小 龍
   小龍：媽，為甚麼您給我起名字叫小龍？
   媽：因為當我懷你的時候，我夢過一條小龍。
   小龍：喔！我明白了。但是，但是，但是如果您夢到的不是小龍而是小豬那 . .
   .
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   A Busy Patient 
   Patient: Doctor, I feel so weak.
   Doctor: Okay, let me check.
   Patient: What's wrong with me?
   Doctor: You are physically exhausted. You need more nutrition.
   Patient: How can I get enough nutrition quickly? I am a very busy man.
   Doctor: Intravenous drip.
   Patient: How long would it take?
   Doctor: A couple of hours.
   Patient: (Points to the intravenous drip bottle) May I drink it? I can
   finish it in three minutes.
   　
   繁忙的病人
   病人：醫生，我覺得渾身無力。
   醫生：好，讓我檢查檢查。
   病人：我怎麼了？
   醫生：體力過渡消耗，你需要增加營養。
   病人：我是個大忙人，有甚麼辦法能叫我快點獲得足夠的營養？
   醫生：打點滴。
   病人：打點滴要多久？
   醫生：兩三個小時。
   病人：（手指著裝有點滴的瓶子）可不可以用喝的？我三分鐘就能把它喝完。
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   Daydream 
   Lucy: Do you dream at nighttime?
   Jack: No, I only dream at daytime.
   　
   白日夢者
   露西：你晚上做不做夢？
   傑克：我晚上不做夢，我只有白天才做夢。
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   A Window Seat 
   A: Which do you prefer, a window seat or an aisle seat?
   B: I always prefer a window seat.
   A: Why?
   B: In case some bad thing happen I can jump out from it.
   　
   靠窗的座位
   （甲乙二人要搭飛機，在上飛機以前）：
   甲：在飛機上你喜歡坐靠窗的座位還是靠通道的座位？
   乙：我總是喜歡坐靠窗的座位。
   甲：為甚麼呢？
   乙：萬一飛機出事我好從窗子跳出去。
   （這完全是個笑話，飛機上的窗子是打不開的。）
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   Salt and Blood Pressure 
   Father: Shut up! Don't tell your father how to manage our business. I
   have eaten more salt than you have rice!
   Son: Yes, sir. But no wonder your blood pressure is getting so high.
   　
   鹽與血壓
   父親：閉嘴！不要告訴你老子我應當怎麼幹，我吃的鹽比你吃的米還多！
   兒子：遵命。可是怪不得您的血壓如今這麼高。
   （註：醫學報導，人若吃得太鹹，血壓就會變高）